I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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