it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
