Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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