tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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