thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
