its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
