i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
