i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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