bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
