Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
