3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
