You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I want to be your penis for a week.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
