Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
