this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
pop tarts are not kleenex
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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