everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
