terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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