I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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