That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
