I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
