We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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