This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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