But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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