there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
