My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
