new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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