Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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