I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
