I'm lost and stupid without you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
