i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
