I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
