My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You need a sexual gate keeper
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
