if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he shaved USA in his pubs
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
