Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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