She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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