what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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