Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
