Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
