I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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