Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
