Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
