Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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