U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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