therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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