if i can run in heels then i can drive
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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