Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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