? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
