the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
