I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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