I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
