she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
