If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
