then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
