ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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