I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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