the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
