Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
