So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
