Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
