therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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